Becoming a Filler, not a Zapper: Communication Is Part of the Game

As an athlete, I have spent years learning how to compete, lead, and push through. But one of the most important skills I have had to relearn—off the court—is how to communicate. 

Today, I am committed to being what someone I love once called an “energy filler,” not an “energy zapper.” 

That means showing up with honesty and assertiveness—without aggression or harm. 

But I will be real: that has not always come easy. 

As athletes, we are often conditioned to be tough, to keep emotions in check, and to bark commands rather than build connection. We bring that same energy into our relationships—with teammates, coaches, family, and partners. 

And if you grew up around harsh communication—where yelling or shutdowns were the norm—it is easy to think that is just the way things are. It becomes your default. 

I used to think being direct meant being harsh. I did not know how to express frustration without letting my emotions take over. And yes, I still slip up sometimes. But I have learned that communication is not just about getting your point across, it is about how your words land. 

Now, I take time to pause, rehearse, and reflect before conversations—just like I would before a big game. I think about tone. Timing. The impact on the other person. 

Because the truth is: 

Your emotional control is just as important off the court as it is on it. 

There’s power in staying grounded when emotions rise. 

And there’s healing in learning to speak with intention, not impulse. 

Whether you are leading a team, showing up for your friends, or managing pressure in your personal life— 

Communication is part of the game. 

~ Coach Delmont